Random Thoughts

An extroduction

Were you waiting for the answer to the question mentioned in the introduction?

The "correct" answer, for many reasons, would have been, and still is, that I was wrong. There are five directions to examine the question from - one of us being correct and the other incorrect, both being right, and neither. There is also the possibility that "correct" or "incorrect" may not contain all the possibilities of a question.

For me to be wrong and you to be right is the simplest, most likely answer. It is also the correct answer in some other ways - for instance if a woman asks a man, "you think A and I think not A, why do you suppose that is?" he would spend his energy wisest to consider how much in life he has to gain by assuming he was wrong to start with. This of course reads true for both genders....

It is most likely because if someone says "I do not feel this profound sentiment" they are probably telling the truth. If some says "I feel this profound sentiment" they may be telling the truth but their reasons may be unique and personal, ranging from their perception of shared events through wishful thinking to downright loneliness and insecurity.

For you to be wrong and me right is a bit odd. Sure I could be right, but what good does it do if you don't see what I am saying? What good would it do to be loved by someone who is taking your word for it that they must surely love you? Realistically it demands a response that is emotionally impossible. My observation or assumption that you are broken would be why you cannot see it. So you would have to heal while trying to love me somehow, without rebounding, without crashing back to your previous emotional commitments to yourself, without recoiling from intimacy as something your heart knows can hurt horribly.... these are not trivial.

So even though I obviously at one level believe this to be the case, it is irrelevant since it is useless to either of our personal development in and of itself.

So, we could also be both right or both wrong.

Both right would be the theoretical and logical outcome of me being right and you wrong. It is a matter of perspective. I am right - there is a connection between us that exclaims the possibility of a shared something that could be precious. You are also right - it isn't possible, you can't feel it, you don't see it - however you exactly put it.

Both of us being wrong would be a silly, cruel absurdity!

And then in the fifth case I will step outside that trap of formal logic - that either of us must be right or be wrong....

This is the one that gives me my escape, and keeps me in my trap. Neither right or wrong is where time comes in, and where the "curvature" of "spiritual space" becomes important. Something a bit strange and a bit bigger than either one of us played a little game with us, briefly. Not God, or a god, or some alien world, our world, this one, pieces of it that are harder to see in the light than in the dark. Things that go bump in the night. Perhaps just our own minds. The game - was to make our interactions seem more meaningful that they were - but only to increase their intensity, leaving their meanings up to us.

You have just moved and are living a life of social turmoil. I have lived in the same (albeit haunted and at least five dimensional) place for many years and yearn for a certain kind of emotional and spiritual contact, especially since the departure of my best friend last year. So of course our interpretations are different - and changing - and in themselves, the interpretations create the experience.


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© Huw Powell

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