Ride the plane, ape - who's gonna try it first?
Captain Plain, ape - only gonna make it worse
Fly the train, ape - you're gonna look pretty dumb
Private plains, ape - show us how to get us one

A new thing comes on down the pike and it starts off pretty queer
We're red-faced with self-consciousness, and we really need a beer

Then you see, across the street, a neighbor looks the same
A quick glance back, a smile 'n' greet, it's a cure for all the shame

Ride the plane, ape - you gonna try it first?
Captain Plain, ape - only makes a good thing worse
Fly the train, ape - parachutes look pretty dumb
Private plains, ape - show us how to get this won

In a week or two the whole damn town has tried it on for size
And the way we do this age-old thing has become our Village style

Now the only ones who seem off-key are the ones who learned it wrong
Everyone knows the way that we have "always played this song"

Ride the plane, ape - sure wanna try it first?
Captain Plain, ape - only gonna make things worse
Fly the train, ape - makin' us look pretty dumb
Private plains, ape - show us how to win this one

2/10/2021
(Following the night before's six-page draft)