Choice

    You have made a decision; a difficult one, to be true,
    You have given up someone you loved,
    In order to live with someone new.

    You hurt, you miss me, you even ache some long nights,
    I understand this; for I have lost as much as you.

    Yet you have someone to talk to about the rain,
    You have someone who cares about the details,
    A heart and plan in which to melt your pain.

    You have his arms, his eyes, his ears, his love - his choice;
    I have only the empty echoes of your voice.

    - - -

    I did not make a decision; my loss was not mine to plan,
    I am living without someone I loved,
    In order that you can love another man.

    I hurt, I miss you, I ache in the cold of night,
    Understand this... for my loss is as great as yours.

    But I shiver and huddle against this cold alone,
    A void where once were a thousand details,
    My heart has to live through this on its own.

    You have his arms, his eyes, his ears, his love - your choice;
    I have only the empty echoes of your voice.

    - - -

    You have decided for yourself, and yet your pain will surface,
    Seeking some balance in your soul, you make me overflow,
    With reminders and thoughts for which I have no solace.

    You hurt so much you toss and turn some lonely nights,
    I understand this; for I have lost as much as you.

    So you seek to soothe your compromise with pain,
    By demanding comfort from me who has nothing,
    You made a deal without me in it, and expect me to join.

    Your arms, eyes, ears - and your love - gone not by my choice;
    I have only the empty echoes of your voice.

    - - -

    It is so unfair for you not to accept your choice,
    To expect to still enjoy listening to my voice:
    "Alone" - I feel so alone when I hear yours,
    Living with this emptiness, and you the cause.

    It is so unfair to touch my soul this way,
    So unfair to expect me to hear you say:
    "Alone" - you are not as alone as you left me,
    We suffer and miss each other, but so differently.

    1/14/03

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© Huw Powell
printed 18 April 2024

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